Blog Review

so i have cooked 2 microwave burritos

and im out of sour cream, ~i know right?

so i go to my neighbor and say, hey im doing a blog review on your sour cream and you need to give it to me

and he says, no

and i said, um yahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hello, blog review, duh

and he said, get off my porch

and i said, look buddy, if you dont give me your sour cream im going to point my potato launcher at your house instead of at the crazy 80 year old lady's house with lots of cats.

and he said, at least *I* have sour cream for my potatoes

and i said, touche you bastidd, then the police escorted me home (as usual)

so i put ketchup on my burritos

it was ketchupy

tomorrow i blog review butter

i like toast and i need butter, so i will ask the crazy old lady with a lot of cats for some. she is too old to remember i shoot at her with a potato launcher.

puppy

Lullaby for Amy

Sweetest songs to help you dream
so you can make the sparkly butt cream

Close your eyes and rest your head
I like egg salad on sour dough bread

Beauty sleep you stunning looker
also known as a soap cooker

Fluff your pillow Snuggle your cover
Shorty is an eenie meenie miny mo lover

Caviar dreams and champagne wishes
I forgot to do the dishes

Lullaby and nighty night
train wrecks end in big cat fights

I hope your sleeping because of these words
the only thing i can think of to rhyme is turds

Thanks for the laughter you add forum sparkle
if you want to save a thread just put your markle

Go to your warm bed darling Amy
Id write more but i have to go pee


Bomo Bob will sing this for you in the tune of any Barry Manilow song. He says he doesn't know any but that is a big fat lie.

License & Registration Please

Thank you Karen of Portland Oregon for prying my front license plate out of your front driver side door and giving it back to me. Next time you pull out directly in front of on coming traffic without yielding, you may not want to come to a complete stop when you realize "Oh snap! There's an oncoming Jeep Cherokee going 40 miles an hour 8 feet away from me!"

What's a Whittle?

If you aren't into fruit jars like I'm into fruit jars, the term "whittle" can be confusing when it's applied to glass. Etsians often ask me how a fruit jar can be described as having features that normally apply to wood. & the cute smarty pants who poke fun at me. Yes i sit on the front porch and carve jars out of sticks with my pocket knife while chewing tobacco. I think not. I choked through "Deliverance" once in my life, what a horrible movie.
The internet's many articles on the subject basically define a whittled appearance, as having a choppy look likened to whittled wood or pounded metal. Also referred to as wrinkles, or ripples. Internet articles also go on to say the cause of whittle marks are the natural reaction of hot glass hitting a cold mold surface. But of course, actual people are always your best source for an answer on anything. The internet also defines "Deliverance" as a good movie, which we know is not true.
Members of my fruit jar group had a lot to say on this topic & I was pleasingly entertained by the banter & actually learned quite a bit. (Which is unusual for me to learn anything, learning requires thinking and i try to avoid any process of thought as it makes my head hurt.)

Comments from Fruit Jar Group members:

The explanation I always heard and which makes a lot of sense to me is that when the metal molds were cold, the hot glass would shrink when it encountered the cold mold which caused it to "crinkle" into the whittling we see today.
~Darrell

It is from the metal mold being too cold. The surface of the glass hardens slightly when it first hits the metal. With this "skin" on the surface, the glass does not flow smoothly into the mold.
~D. Cole Muncie, Indiana

Many Many comments stemmed from the topic of whittling. Including the possible use of wooden molds to the way a jar is vented. My opinion is that of a mold being too cold to allow glass to flow smoothly. Like me and my old cold bones when I wake up.

Our Moderator Says: I suppose I've heard many stories concerning whittling and I think both the cold mould and trapped air theory are both the real story together.
~Bruce Wayne Schank

& special thanks to Scott:
When hot glass meets cold iron, well, its about like my warm butt , meeting a freezing cold toilet seat........ ......Instantaneous Retraction! Some puckering might even be involved. :-)
~Scott Grandstaff

Thank you to the many others who contributed to the 'whittle' topic, i didn't include everyone, but i thank you all the same. Regards, Lisa

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31986063

Cat Harf Is Evil

Oh yeah, They are so pretty and fluffy and soft and playful until they barf up a multitude of hair balls in spasmatic convulsions on your new carpet.